The Sad News

I feel awful that my official first entry in this newly started blog is actually filled with gloom.  I have noticed that for the past months I have been sleeping with my stomach flat on the bed and my back against the shining stars of the beautiful night sky. A gesture that clearly demonstrates defeat, if you ask me.

A couple of nights ago, contrary to an ordinary day’s end, I read a text message that got me secretly crying the whole night. Nanay, the pillar of our clan was diagnosed with brain tumor and is currently confined in the hospital. I locked myself to my room after I told my parents and after what pop told me: “eh ganun talaga. Anong gagawin natin, matanda na sya.” I burst into tears, hugged a pillow in prone position and prayed. I remembered the nights when I would pray and whisper my requests and the first thing I would say was “Please God, make my mom live until I’m eighty and nanay until I have grandchildren of my own.” Needless to say, I slept through the night in the defeated position once again.

I don’t see nanay all the time, but my attachment to her is one of a kind. I know I barely have time to visit her now, unlike before when I can sneak out for lunch and have lunch with her in San Roque (our ancestral home). But the comfort and assurance of the thought that she’s still around works the magic and makes the difference. Her stories of how she took care of me when I was a baby would give me a different kind of calm. It amazes me how a person whom aside from my parents and siblings could have instantly showed me TLC when I was still a baby. A baby who has proven nothing to the world—except cries and wails to show signs of hunger, discomfort and sleepiness.   But there she was. She would tell me stories of how she took care of me, held my little hands, brushed my curly hair, and put me to sleep while the parentals are out working. My favorite story is how she would bathe me with tea everyday back then. She would say “ang ganda ng kutis, ang kinis-kinis, dahil yan sa tsaa na pinapaligo ko sayo nung maliit ka pa.”

Oh, and this wasn’t just me, she took care of each and every one of us. As in, all of us –from my older cousins up to the little ones, even now that we have Sam and Reece as our grandchildren (my nephews’s kids).

After that night, I told our relatives in FB that nanay is sick. On my defense, it wasn’t to make anybody worry neither was it just for the sake of having something to say in the FB group. I needed everybody to pray for her because I want her to live and stay with us for a much longer time. This is one news I cannot hide from our family because I feel like things like these should not be kept a secret. Apart from the miraculous possibilities and outcomes our united prayers can do, this may also pave the way for more help to come.

As what I always say, I am attached to my family in more ways anyone can ever imagine. But in a much broader sense, I can relate the kind of love I have for each and every one of them through Lilo and Stitch’s –OHANA.  “’Ohana is family, and family means no one left behind.”  I am not as rich as my other siblings or my cousins who would normally be in charge of monetary funds. That’s why my sole contribution to our family is my being the events planner/coordinator. I plan the annual reunions, the summer family trips and what-have-yous. And as much as possible, I try to accommodate everyone’s requests no matter how little or big they are simply because “’Ohana is family, and family means no one left behind.” I try to make them feel the comfort of a reunion or a vacation they would simply have to attend, participate in and enjoy. But these are all good times. Bad times should be taken differently but still with the comfort of Ohana. 


When I was younger and our family was in the most difficult time of our lives with mom not being around to take care of us, I  knew and experienced Ohana  with my uncles and aunties, cousins helping us get through our daily lives. These were all simple gestures like helping me buy stuff for school, making sure my uniforms are washed and ironed well by the house helps,  I eat a full meal breakfast, have money  for lunch, snacks and a decent meal for dinner, I have money for school activities and projects, attending PTAs, and a lot more.  This taught and instilled in me the value that family will always be family and no matter what happens we will always have each other; to be with, to eat with even to argue and fight with because “’Ohana is family, and family means no one left behind.”  

Going back, the same is true for the prayers I wanted for nanay. Again,“’Ohana is family, and family means no one left behind in praying for her. I think this is the perfect time for all of us to draw strength from each other, combine all our powers to help in her quick recovery.

After all, despite the daily nights of defeat, i still get up the next day because  of the thought of  having “’Ohana. Ohana is family, and family means no one left behind.”